Parent

Dealing with lying teenage children

May 29, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Lying is a habit. A liar will know how to lie just as he knows how to tell the truth. Without the flinch of an eye. Sometimes you would want to punish your teenage child for lying, but that’s a negative way of doing it.

Lying teenagers need help with the problem by careful advice and counseling. By going of the handle, you are just treating the symptom; not the disease. Lying teenagers need serious attention as soon as possible, before the situation worsens.

As a parent, you might be stressed with this situation. You should understand that no child grows perfectly. You have to get them to be perfect. So how do you handle it? The answer is simple. Take on the lie head on. Don’t pretend to believe it. You would not want to embarrass you teenage child by telling them on the face about the lie. But that’s the only option. When a lie is a lie, call it a lie.

After which, you can explain your viewpoint on it. Explain how you would deal with the situation. Try to drive in the ‘’tell-the-truth’’ factor. Don’t put in the ‘’tell-truth-at-least-to-your-parent’’ thing. This will be like encouraging the teenager to lie more.

You must understand, that children taken on the behaviors of their parents. If you are a liar, your kid will be one. Your children automatically take you as their role model. That’s how they are designed to be by the creator. So to mend your children, you need to mend yourself first. Set an example to them by telling the truth always. Don’t exaggerate facts. Speak facts as they are.

Filed Under: Parenting, Teen Tagged With: Child, Children Youth and Family, Parent

Rebellion Isn’t Misbehavior

March 14, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Why is it that teenagers rebel? The teen years are a hard time for most kids. This is the stage where they feel as if they need to grow up, but they are not quite sure if they can handle the responsibility. Teens have harder classes, more homework, often a part-time job as wells as sports and other extra-curricular activities. They have pressure from friends to try new things—some good and some bad. Teens also have confliction emotions, often due to hormonal changes. They are prone to taking things out of context because they over think the situation. A simple suggestion from a parent is seen as a sharp insult. A low grade on a test is a direct hit to their self-esteem.

So, how can you help your child through these years? First of all, try to listen more often than you talk. Teens have a lot to say and oftentimes feel as if no one is listening. They have questions, thoughts and ideas that go unsaid because someone is too busy to hear them out, or because they are afraid that if they communicate their ideas, someone will brush them off. If a teen feels as if she is not heard, she may begin to act out. This is not quite the same as a child throwing a fit to get attention, but the underlying cause is similar.

Teens need to be encouraged to share thoughts and ideas. They often need help, but feel as if they are too old to ask. If your teen is struggling with something and beginning to act out, there are things you can do to help. If school is an issue, talk to your teen about having a student-parent meeting with her counselor. Teens are often just waiting for a parent to step in and take action because they are not sure which route to take.

Filed Under: Advice Tagged With: Adolescence, Parent, Youth

Should you be Your Teen’s Best Friend?

February 28, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

You’ve always wanted to be a friend to your teen, but can you also discipline them effectively?

Crossing the lines of friendship and parenting can be a real trick, but there needs to be a balance, according to most experts that believe we are a discipline oriented parent until our child moves away from home. When our teen still lives with us, we have an opportunity to have fun, but more important, allow him or her to see the line drawn in the rock.

A few things to remember:

Be a parent first. When push comes to shove, and there will definitely be a lot of emotional shoving, you’ll want to be standing on firm ground. Friends share equal territory, and while a fine venture when going shopping or seeing a movie with your teen; friendship should favor parenting when it comes to disciplining and giving direction.
Show, by example, that you’re teen is important in your life. This means time with them, yes, but it also means that you don’t speak about them negatively behind their back or share secrets they have offered in confidence with your adult friends. If there is concern about something your teen has shared, confide in your husband or wife, thus keeping family issues as private as possible.
Communicate your feelings. Alow your teen to communicate the same. Teens need someone to look up to, to help them as they make important key decisions in their life such as college and marriage. If you have opened the doors of communication when things are clear, when difficulty strikes, it will be that much easier for your teen to tell you about it.

Filed Under: Parenting, Relationships Tagged With: Friendship, Parent, Teenagers

Best Discipline Tips for Teens

February 26, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

You have a teen in your household, maybe two, and you are struggling with discipline. How do you get your son or daughter to come home on time? How do you get them to clean their room, or pick up after themselves?

Try these tips for better behavior:

Sit down with your teen and create a schedule together. Post the schedule in the kitchen where everyone can see the duties expected. The kitchen is a great gathering place, so your teen can’t complain that they didn’t know what was expected—especially if you tape the schedule to the fridge.
Have a consequence listed for failure to complete a particular assignment. For example, if you tell you’re teen that he or she must be home by 10 p.m. during the school week and he or she returns at 10:15, make sure that you talk over the problem. Yes, 15 minutes isn’t TOO late, but if your teen feels they can get away with 15 minutes, they will push for 30 the next time.
If your teen consistently has a problem with an area of expectation, re-work the schedule—find out what can be done differently to complete the task.
Give positive rewards for completion. A dinner out with dad; a trip to the nearest fishing hole.
Let your teen know of your love for them despite the disciple measure. Open the lines of communication by listening more than speaking.

Because your teen is more important than the “thing” he or she is not doing, it’s important to ask questions as well as listen. You may discover that you’re teen in reality “messed up” because they were unclear about how to do something you expected of them.

Filed Under: Advice, Parenting Tagged With: Adolescence, Parent, Youth

Best Driving Advice for Parents of Teens

February 19, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Have a new driver within your household? Going crazy already? Take a look at these tips for smooth driving for both you and your new driver.

Borrowing the car should rarely be “on the spot or last minute” unless the need for the car is a “real” emergency. Driving privileges are just that, privileges, and should be treated as such. Your teen should let you know in advance when he or she will need the car and the times involved in such a loan. If you’re teen keeps their promise, then the next lend is available.
Allow your teen to make short grocery trips and other errands for you. This gives them driving experience and creates more time in your day to do other things.
If your teen has their own car, make sure you are still aware of where he or she is going. Cell phones are great, but getting a heads up before they leave the house will calm your nerves a bit.
Make some time to drive with your teen. You’ve probably had some pre-driver’s license experience, but keep in mind that becoming an expert at driving takes time and practice. Let your teen know when he or she makes a blunder, and how best to improve the mistake.
Keep calm when you are driving with your teen. Even if you’re heart is racing, speak as calmly as possible unless you are threatened with real and immediate danger.

In the long run, driving with a teen doesn’t have to be too traumatic or worrisome if you keep the lines of communication open and spend some time with your teen doing this “latest and greatest” new thing.

Filed Under: Advice, Parenting Tagged With: Driver's license, Driving, Parent

Behavior Has Consequences

February 13, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

One of the most important jobs a parent has, and which has the worst outcome if failed, is teaching that behavior has consequences. All too often a parent starts taking this seriously far later than they should when they are suddenly faced with a rebellious teen. Consequences are something even the smallest child can be taught; even before they are fully capable of deductive reasoning.

For example, for the parent potty-training their toddler, it will be of no good to try to explain to the child that they can avoid diaper rash if they would simply use the toilet. However, if they see a frown when they use the diaper and a bright smile with words of encouragement when they use the toilet, they will quickly see the consequences of their decision.

Carrying this through the school age years with irresponsible and counter-productive actions having obvious negative consequences and there are far less chances that your child will turn into a rebellious teenager. One of the key components of this training lies with consistency. If you at one point ignore a bad behavior yet at another time do not, you are sending the message that poor behavior is not always with consequence. While this may be true in adulthood, it is not something a responsible adult counts on. We don’t go driving around town at 30 miles over the speed limit because we know that we won’t get a ticket every single time.

Absence of accountability may make them your friend at first, but that is likely to pale when they determine their failures are your fault for not teaching them boundaries.

Helping your child understand the connection between behavior and consequences is the best gift a parent can give. Doing so sets a foundation that will allow their child to become the best person in life that they can be.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Parent

Give Your Teen Great Gifts to Take to College

February 8, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

There are plenty of things you can give your teenagers, but when they go off to college, it’s very important that they have the things they need. Cash is always a great gift, but you don’t want to just give them money – especially if they’re not yet that good at managing it. Prepaid debit and/or credit cards might be a better choice, because they can’t be spent as easily. Of course, you’ll want to look for some fun gifts and some practical gifts, too. Home decor is a good choice, because it can let your teen decorate his or her dorm room so it feels more like home.

Also, consider a subscription to a favorite magazine or computer tools and games that your teen can play. All of that can be found at Subscription.com, so you can buy your teen anything that’s really needed to make college a good experience. Studying is important, but there is plenty of down time when your teen may feel homesick, and when he or she will want something to do. If you’ve provided a lot of great options that can be used in the dorm room, that can keep your teen from leaving campus for parties and things that you might not want him or her going to.

College is a great time for people to learn about their world and explore who they are, but it can also be a time where teens who are far from home can get into trouble. You can’t watch your teen every minute of every day, but you can impart good values and also make sure that there are plenty of great things to do. By providing some games that can be played with friends, you give your teen an opportunity to get to know people while staying safe and secure in the dorm.

Filed Under: General, Parenting Tagged With: Credit card, Parent, Youth

The Discipline Method of Spanking

February 3, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Ask anyone if a parent should use spanking as a form of disciple and they may or may not have an opinion. Now ask the parent of a willful, limit-testing two-year old and you just may get a resounding “yes!” That is not to say that every parent of a two-year old believes in spanking. We are constantly hearing from professionals that claim that spanking is a terrible way to discipline a child and should never be used. However, it would seem plausible that this form of discipline does have some merit if used correctly.

One case in point for spanking is that it is an acceptable means of discipline among the Amish, who as we know have very well-behaved children that grow into responsible adults. If spanking were to promote violence as some professionals state, it would be unlikely that any Amish child would stay within the Amish faith and lifestyle upon maturity. They firmly believe that leaving a child without disciple is child abuse. Discipline is used to instill obedience in their children. Spankings are not done when in anger or to cause physical injury. They support their belief from the bible, Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

Another argument for spanking, particularly for younger children, is that children are not capable of the levels of reasoning necessary for other forms of punishment to be effective. A two-year old that does not understand a time-out as a punishment will not adjust their behavior because of the time-out. They may even grow to equate the time-out location as a “safe” location and thus perpetuate the unwanted behavior in order to be placed there.

Spanking is not a one-size-fits-all discipline – it must be done correctly to be effective as doing it wrong is very likely harmful to a child.

Filed Under: Advice, Parenting Tagged With: Child abuse, Parent, Spanking